Wednesday Wickedness - Who Is This Guy?

Welcome to this always fascinating meme sponsored by Wednesday Wickedness. Each week, Janera Jepson posts quotes from a well-known celebrity, and then poses questions to the reader following the quotes. This week's meme posts quotes from some guy of whom I have never heard in my 50-something years, by the name of Ricky Gervais! Since I neither know him, or for that matter, like or dislike him, I hope you enjoy my delicate sarcasm of his views, and my completely obnoxious responses! You may scold me for not knowing this character, even after googling him, but I guess this hunk of meat slipped through the cracks of my humble faux wood flooring!

Let's Do This!

1. “Why by a book when you can join a library.” When was your last trip to a library?

My last trip was a few weeks ago when I returned books from 2009. Yes, Gandalf, anyone can join a library, but one is not allowed to make notes or draw scary pictures in library books!


2. “People see me in the suit and they know I'm not fooling anyone, they know I'm rock and roll through and through.” Does your attire properly represent you?

Well, Frodo, I've never seen you in a suit, and from your picture above, you aren't screaming "rock & roll!" My friends at work think I dress like Blanche from "The Golden Girls." That's my body age, but my maturity is that of a 35 year old trying to hold on to her twenties!


3. “I'm from a little place called England ... We used to run the world before you.” Do you feel the United States really runs the world?

I'm from a little place called Anaheim, Gollum, where the Happiest Place is the World is located. We used to be the greatest theme park of all time! I feel that the United States may have run the world during the Reagan Administration, but not any more. It's every country for themselves now!


4. “No one grows up saying 'I hope I work in an office one day?' And that fascinated me. People from 16 to 65 are just thrown together and that is a tantalizing mix.” When was the last time that you worked in an office like that?

Listen, Aragorn, a lot of people grow up saying "I hope I work in an office one day...while I am waiting to interview for my dream job!" It is a great mix to see what gets thrown together. Some people like it, and forget about their dream job because they are having so much fun! I work in an office like that right now! (I'm still waiting for that dream job!)


5. “Where there's a will-there's a relative!” Do you have a will? If yes, have you ever changed it?

I used to have a will, until I had children, and then I decided to spend it all while I am still alive!


6. "When I see a toreador in a bullfight getting gored I think: `Good, you shouldn't be in there`. What is the pleasure in seeing an animal speared to death? It`s the same with fox hunting. They`re just psychopaths.” How do you feel about bull fighting and hunting?

Now, now, Boromir, haven't you ever watched a tennis match between the US and UK? It's very close to a bullfight, don'tcha think? Also, I don't think those involved are exactly psychopaths; they are making a living doing something at which they are good. I do not agree with any kind of fighting, whether it be human to human, animal to animal, human to animal or animal to human. I think hunting animals for sport is tops on my "you are really messed up" list!


7. “Money gives me the creeps and mildly embarrasses me. I get paid too much anyway.” Have you ever thought that you were over paid for a job?

Hey, Sauron, money gives you the creeps? Try spending some of it. Then, it won't seem so creepy any more! Never in my entire lowly life have I thought I was overpaid for anything, especially for a job!


8. “I hate lateness. I hate people who are late. There is no excuse for turning up late for anything. I`ve never been late for anything in my life. I was actually born a week premature, because I wanted to be early for my own birth.” Are you usually on time for things?

I think that some people are never late, like my DH. On the other hand, some people, like moi, try so very hard to be early or on time, but it just doesn't happen all that often! I think most people should be forgiving of others who share this disease with me. Hate, my friend Legolas, is a very strong word. You might want to be careful to not throw it around too much!


9. “I have plenty of pet hates. I can`t stand people scraping their plate or slurping their soup. I can`t stand waiting in lines. I hate people talking inanely about the Lord Of The Rings. I hate people whistling. But I`m not like this because I`m famous. I`ve always been a grumpy bastard.” What are your “pet hates”?

Like I said, Sam, hate is a very strong word. Here in the states we say "peeve" instead of "hate." I not only scrape my plate and slurp my soup, I also will wait in line, especially to see unknown celebrity, if I think the outcome will benefit me or someone I know. I can't whistle, so there's something about me you don't hate! And yes, you are a grumpy person!


10. “I don`t like all this stupid Gollum begat Wobblo and the Oompa Loompas and...Oh Jesus Christ! There was too much "Oh, God, here come the gloodloys..." Christ Almighty, what are they talking about!?” Are you a fan of “Lord of the Rings”?

As a matter of fact, Witch-King of Agmar, I am a fan of the "Lord of the Rings!" I am also a fan of the Lord, AND I REALLY HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE THROW HIS NAME AROUND LIKE IT WAS TRASH!"


Well now, I sure feel better. How about you? Please click on the Wednesday Wickedness logo below and see what some of the other fans of "whatshisname" said!





Thanks for stopping by. Enjoy the rest of your week. Snow Day Thursday in the LOU!

Wednesday Wickedness - Kim Kardashian

Welcome to this always fascinating meme sponsored by Wednesday Wickedness. Each week, Janera posts quotes from a well-known celebrity, and then poses questions to the reader following the quotes. This week's meme posts quotes from mega celebrity, reality show diva and entrepreneur, Kim Kardashian. I hope you enjoy her quotes and my sometimes silly responses!

Onward!



1. "White is actually one of my favorite colors. I have a white car. I love white." Tell us about your first car.

My first car was a beige 1956 Ford Falcon. It was so old that I needed a choke to get it started. If you know what I’m talking about, then you are very old like me! The year was 1971, and I didn’t have to pay for it, so I was very happy. Beige is not my favorite color, although it is sort of close to white. Give your life a few years with kids, Kim. I don’t think your favorite color will be white any more.


2. "I've just had enough of people misrepresenting me. Get to know me and see who I am." Have you ever been paranoid?

I have been paranoid for most of my life. I grew up in Southern California. I think paranoid is a very normal survival tactic. Get to know you, Kim? Well, I’m not sure that would be a good idea at this point. I don’t want to add schizo to my paranoia!


3. "I opened the store myself. Even Paris and Nicky Hilton -- they`re completely independent too." How old were you and what were you doing when you became independent of your parents?

I became independent of my parents at age 19. It would have been later, but they were moving to some Poe-dunk town up the coast. I had just landed my first “real” job and was making just enough to pay my way! I loved staying up until dawn watching movies, eating cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and sleeping 75 percent of the weekend. By the way, Kim, Paris still needs her mommy and daddy when she gets busted…


4. "I want to be a Bond girl!" Have you ever wanted to be in the movies?


I have wanted to be in the movies since I was seven years old, but I refused to have my breasts augmented, eyebrows plucked, and I wouldn’t sleep around until I was 15. I also wanted to be a rock star, astronaut, and professional football cheerleader. Instead, I did things that were not as demanding, didn't need 20 years of education, and didn't require sit-ups.


5. "I would never snub Hugh Hefner. I love him and his whole team." How much money would it take for you to pose nude?

How much money would it take for me to pose nude? Are you crazy? When I think of all the lawsuits that would be filed for vision assault, it would have to be in the billions! I’m cute, but every body part I own has gone South, even the leftover baby fat!


6. "I think my sense of style is evolving. I'm figuring out ways to be sexy without having to flaunt it." Who are the top 3 sexy celebrities in your opinion?

Now, Kim, can you even spell the word “flaunt?” Paleeze!!! Your sense of style is that of “I want to jump your bones…do you think I’m sexy?” By sexy, does your question mean, “who do I want to do it to….or who or whom is easy on the eyes?” What do you think, Kim? The top of my list includes, George, Brad and Clive.



7. "I'm the girl who's too shy to dance in a nightclub — maybe for one song, and then that's it." Tell us about the last time that you danced in a nightclub?

I was 22 the last time I danced in a nightclub. It was the Whiskey in Hollywood. My date was approached in the men’s room by someone asking him, “how much for my company?” He and I both laughed about that for a long time!

8. "I want to be pregnant by the time I'm 30, hopefully." Since normal people don’t decide on having kids depending on their age, what factors do you think are important when making that decision?

What? I became pregnant when I was 30! I think it is a life changing event that requires much thought. One sacrifices their figure, gets stretch marks everywhere, and, for about six months, has to put up with everyone rubbing her stomach as though it is public property! Important factors to consider: 1) finish college; 2) sleep around; 3) travel and sleep around; 4) babysit someone’s infant; 5) marry someone who is either filthy rich or drop-dead gorgeous!


9. "My balance is really bad. I just hope my clumsiness doesn't show through". Is there anything about you that you hope doesn’t show through?

Clumsy can be good sometimes. Doors get opened for you, people let you cut in line because they want you away from them as soon as possible, the waiter will bring you a fresh drink, even though you already finished three-fourths of it before you spilled it. There are lots of things about me that I don’t want to show through, so why would I show them now?

10. "I eat less junk food, hardly any soda, and just try to eat more protein. I definitely can’t give up sweets all together, so I just toned them down!" How does one “tone down” their diet?

Milk is protein. Cookies are sweet. You can’t tone these down any further. However, if there are other proteins and/or sweets to be consumed, moderation is the word I like to use. Common sense is, perhaps, something that both Kim and I may share...NOT!


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