Sunday, January 11, 2009

Another Glorious Saturday in the Burbs!

It's 5:00am and Tootsie has to pee. She does the ritual dance, sneeze and rolling around on the floor. So begins my day. After several cups of coffee, and the traditional bowl of Cheerios, we go for a short walk around the outside of the house. (Well, excuse me, I'm still in my jammies, and it's 20 degrees outside!) We take care of business and return to the house where I have another cup of coffee to take away the chill. The princesses awaken and we talk about our day. Katya will go into work for a few hours and Ed is expecting some friend to come over to play video games.

Why is it that when your teen child asks a few teen friends over to just "hang out" and within several hours, the "few" teen friends have turned into almost nine or ten friends? Is it because they are like little hamsters? If you don't keep a constant eye on them, they just keep multiplying over and over! Case in point: Ed was going to have three friends over to help make a movie based on a computer game. (Someone on YouTube has done this with the game "Minesweeper.)

"Okay," I think, "they will be fine...they will probably be so busy rolling around laughing, that the filming of the movie won't even get started!" So I guess it's okay to go to Rock's first volleyball tournament. So Retro and I spend the next few hours at the tournament, watching, waiting...and watching again, and then driving back home. Upon our return, the three friends have grown to five friends, plus Katya, home from work, and another friend upstairs taking a shower. Don't ask.

"Okay," I think, "they were having an artistic block and needed to call in some professionals." I gingerly take the steps down to the basement to find the five friends, plus Ed, on the couch in front of the television, deep in concentration while they are playing the video game which is the subject of the movie. Katya and her (shower) friend are texting each other from across the room, giggling the whole time.

"How's the movie going?" I ask.

"Oh.." says Ed. "We are still trying to figure out the details of how we want it to look and what we will say to each other."

"Okay," I reply. "Well, we only have enough pizza for the family." I start back up the steps to the kitchen and turn on the oven.

"That's okay," both Ed and Katya yell out, "we are going out to get some food in a little while."

Retro and I sat down to a local grocer's gourmet pizza that I cooked two minutes less than the directions, but still was burnt! I am NOT Rachel Ray! A glass of milk and a Fig Newton cookie helped get rid of the burnt cheese aftertaste in my mouth. We retired to the family room where Retro made himself comfortable in his Lazyboy chair - remote in hand, and I sat down at the computer to check email, blogs, and FB. We could hear the laughter in the basement becoming louder and more pronounced.

Once again, I trudged down the steps to the basement, only to find that two friends who just got off work had joined the festivities. Almost the entire group was talking at the same time. I laughed and waved, and told them that everyone needed to leave by eleven o'clock. At 10:45, I was awakened by my own snoring as Saturday Night Live was getting underway. I turned off the TV, clapped my hands to wake up Retro and told him to go to bed. The house was silent.

"This is not good," I thought. I slowly opened the door to the basement and tiptoed halfway down the stairs. I could see the kids and the reason they were so quiet. Each and every one was shoveling burgers, fries and drinks into their bird-like mouths. They only had 15 more minutes before they would be kicked out and didn't want their parents' cars smelling like french fries...better my basement to smell like fries, than their automobiles!

They all went home shortly after eleven. Ed, Katya and I had a little conversation about how to keep friends from multiplying..."just say no!" We all turned in by midnight, and after five hours of sleep, Tootsie and I began another day.


Chris H said...

YOu got them to leave without having to get mad??? My lot always had mates over and the only way I could get them to leave was to threaten to flash me boobs at them! That worked!

noexcuses said...

Hey Chris,

I'll try that next time!