Saturday, June 6, 2009

A Day in the Life of Ed, Wonder Girl!

You know the terms, “Murphy’s Law” and “If it isn’t one thing, it’s another”? Well, I think I should have given Ed the middle name of “It’s always something!” She is one of those really creative and gifted people with a decent dose of ADD. There are always at least three or four things happening simultaneously as she travels through her day. And, there are always at least three or four excuses for whatever it is that she didn’t get done. Sometimes, she actually thinks that the three or four are all related, and attempts to integrate them. (Like eating, talking on the phone to her BFFS, applying mascara and pulling up her fishnet stockings) This type of behavior no longer gives me gray hair. It causes me to pull out the gray hair that I already have from the first 17 years of her life.

As an example of her day, let’s begin with her first item of business…getting out of bed. Her cell phone alarm has three snooze alarms set. If she is not up after the third snooze alarm, her radio alarm clock across the room will go off in at a decibel level loud enough to be heard in France. If she manages to make it to the door of her room without falling over the carnage left from the day before, she will be almost certain to successfully navigate the hallway and stumble into the bathroom for her shower.

After removing her contacts (which as all good contact wearers know…should be done when retiring the night before), she places her hands on the wall and feels her way over to the tub. She turns on the faucet and pulls out the knob to warm up the shower. The water is freezing! She sits down on the john with her head resting in her hands and her elbows resting on her knees while she is humming some new goofy song from the radio. If she does not fall asleep, she will stand up in a few minutes and step into the tub.

After showering, blow drying her hair, inserting contacts and applying the first layer of make-up, she saunters downstairs to the family room.

“Good morning,” she says with the ever-familiar morning voice groan. “I’m sooooo hungry!” she complains. After microwaving an Eggo waffle, Ed steps into the downstairs bathroom and applies my eyeliner and my mascara while she inhales the waffle.

“Mom,” she mumbles, spitting out pieces of waffle, “I’m staying after school today to make up a test, and I have to work at 6:00. Is my uniform clean?” Well now, you can just imagine the sweet little thoughts going through my head at this point! “I didn’t get to the laundry last night because I was trying to get my history notes from Jack over the phone, and he kept changing the subject! Also, I was working on my math homework, when I realized that I left my book at school, and Jack had to give me the problems in addition to the history notes.” (Jack is a good friend, and the love of her life. She set up her class schedule this year so she had as many classes with him as possible. This would assure that she got to see him quite frequently and could depend on him for notes.)

“I don’t know, sweetie. Have you checked your floor lately?” I replied with a snicker. “If you get it started in the washer before you leave today, I will put it in the dryer when I come home for lunch.” I am so fortunate to work very close to home. I can drive it in two minutes, or walk it in ten. I usually drive. Hey, what is more important…getting 20 minutes of exercise, or having a leisurely lunch? Let’s get our priorities straight, here!

The kids have very strict rules about driving while talking on their cell phone. I absolutely forbid it! So, on their way to school, Ed passes her phone off to Katya (her sweet little sister) and has Katya make calls to the BFFS, relaying messages to and from Ed. At the same time, Ed is driving “Big Red”, which is a 1977 Volkswagen Bus with a manual transmission. While driving, Ed is reciting her one-act play performance for her theatre class, listening to the morning DJ’s make fun of celebs, and picking Eggo waffle out of the cracks between her teeth. She notices every bird and large insect within 50 feet of the car. She must fight the urge to stare with wonder.

Once she begins her school day, Ed’s demeanor has begun to settle down and she can sit still, listen to and hear what the teacher is saying, and maybe, if she’s lucky, she can also take notes! Her morning routine is successful until around 11:30 a.m. Once she has eaten lunch, she can focus in her afternoon classes, as well as after school homework time (which rarely takes place until 9:00 p.m.).

When Ed comes home from school, her uniform is miraculously clean and pressed. She drops her current ensemble on the floor in her room, pours herself into her uniform. She grabs a granola bar as she darts out the door to drive to work. Once there, she feels completely at home…filling orders for blizzards, sundaes, burger/fries/drink meals…as she hears the orders come in from the drive-thru. The grill cook announces his completed orders, and she bags them as she calls out the order number. The laughter and squeals of the “Under 10 year old” club soccer team who just finished practice can be heard with “Surround Sound” quality. She stops and gives them all a “hey!”

It is closing time and the counters and floors have been cleaned, toppings have been replaced, and the ice cream cakes are all safe in their freezers. Ed makes the five minute drive home, quietly crawls upstairs, drops her chocolate covered uniform ensemble on the floor in her room, and collapses into her nightly coma. In eight hours, she will begin a new day, full of adventure and challenge.

Thank you, God, for making Katya so calm and low-maintenance!


Chris H said...

Ed sounds like a totally normal teenager to me!

Coffee Bean said...

LOL! Oh how I can relate! I love this post!