Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Mommy Stress...Good or Bad?

It always amazes me how stress can turn one's world upside down and inside out! We think we have it all figured out, and then Vertigo sets in. I recently took a course on Stress Management. It made me realize how I have stuffed the emotional junk down my throat for so very long. First the feelings get stuffed, and then the sugar fills up any leftover space.

I could never figure out "good" stress or "bad" stress...it was all bad to me! I now know that the good stress can motivate me to take care of my "To Do" list in a positive light. The bad stress is something I still fight, still stuff and sometimes block from my mind entirely.

Bad stress is why I haven't posted in a long time. I have some life changing challenges ahead of me. The mom in me tells me to make sure the kids are okay and settled before I can work on what I need to do. But I think I'm using that as an excuse to avoid what really needs to be done.

I'm moving to another state (five hours from where I now live) and my children are staying here. They are old enough to be on their own, and are excited at the thought of doing so. It's killing me because I don't want to let go. I think if they left one at a time, it might be easier for me. But, it's happening all at once, and it scares the heck out of me. The thought of just being two again feels so foreign. I know it happens every day, and parents get through it, but it's not something I had planned for or ever imagined would happen to me.

On the flip side, I won't be involved in the daily drama of the "sisters." I won't get the phone calls late at night...telling me that they are going to be late! I also won't have to tip-toe around the house until noon because SOMEONE is sleeping...because SOMEONE was up until 3:00 or 4:00 or some other hour! I'm still going to miss even this!

I enjoy making "To Do" lists. I even list things I've already done so that I can have the satisfaction of crossing it off! My ADD is really kicking in so I leave lists in every room, just in case I think of something else that needs to be done!

I guess that's just what we (moms) do! We laugh, we cry, we carry out hearts on our sleeves and we make lists. I can't imagine my life any other way. Wish me luck with my lists!


Jeanie said...

That is a huge change, Liz, and understandably stressful. I hope you will keep writing about all that you are going through as a way to help sort out your feelings. Any life change can be stressful but I understand that this is an enormous one for you.

Chris H said...

OH MY I can so relate to this. It broke my heart moving 9 hours away from Steve and Mike... at least now we have Steve with us again!
Still working on Mike.
You are still going to get the phone calls!

I live for the day it is only Stew and Me .... as long as the kids are not too far away of course!