Thursday, May 6, 2010

Writer's Workshop - Memories of My Mom

I'd like you to meet my Mom, Jeanne. The cute guy next to her is my Dad, Richard. They both were taken home some time ago, but I've held on to the best memories. Their love story is a great one; but, I'll have to save it for another post.

I am at that point in my life when I don't remember where I put my keys 15 minutes ago, but I can remember every detail of my seventh birthday party! My best memories of my mom are those of her calm demeanor, her gentle nature and her ability to carry a conversation with everyone...from a preschooler to a PhD. She always had a supportive word for anyone in need.

She helped out at my Brownie meetings, she wrapped me in her arms as I cried my eyes out when I didn't make the high school cheer squad, and she stepped in as negotiator when I broke up with my boyfriend to be with another. She sewed a floor-length velvet cape for the Homecoming Queen at my brothers' school. Every time I had my braces tightened, she would take me for ice cream, and now I do the same for my daughter, Katya.

She was a perfectionist. My room always had to be spot clean. We would spend every spring break deep cleaning the house. The Parquet flooring had to be waxed only with the grain. I spent much of my life trying to live up to her standards, but I always felt like I came up short. I think she was disappointed that I didn't get an undergraduate degree as she had. She once told me that she "didn't see me as a career woman." Well, of course, that stopped a few dreams. Then there was the acting...she would come watch me, but her support to continue with that journey just wasn't there.

She was the only person whose opinion meant anything to me. When I had my first child, I felt like I had finally done something worthy enough for her acceptance and love. I was so looking forward to sharing this child with her and having both of us grow closer. She died three months later. I was angry at her, and I was angry at God. I felt so cheated. It wasn't until years later that I realized why she had to leave, and that it was God's choice, not mine or hers. I can now comprehend how very much she loved me and what she sacrificed for me. That's what moms do, any way they can.

I am still learning parenting and life skills from her 25 years later. I miss her dearly, but I know that part of her is locked away inside my heart. When I talk to my kids about her, the lock falls off and they get to see her through my eyes and words. Thanks, Mom...and I love you, too.


Thank you Lord for Kat over at Mama's Losin It! She hosts a workshop on Wednesdays and challenges bloggers to write about one of her suggested prompts. Since I'm still brain-dead from most weekends, this is a great motivation for me to write without having to come up with my own topic...just free flowing mumbling about the prompt that grabs me the most. Please stop by and say hello by clicking on the symbol below!

Mama's Losin' It


Frau said...

Thanks for sharing your touching story about your brought tears to my eyes! Maybe our mom's were a lot alike. Who knows! Happy Mother's day to you!

Lora said...

such a beautiful story, mostly because it rings true for so many of us. That eternal push for us daughters to be accepted by our mothers weighed against the love we share is so huge.

Love to you both and to Katya and her poor braced mouth too (I'd rather go through labor and delivery than have braces tightened again!), this Mother's Day and every day

Betty said...

Your mom was beautiful, as is your memory of her. I´m sorry you lost her so soon. I´m sure she would have been proud to see you be a mother to your kids!

Mrs4444 said...

I'm sure your mom would love this post :) She sounds like a treasure.

P.S. In case you're interested, I host a very easy, satisfying Friday meme called Friday Fragments. Feel free to join in next week! :)