Shake a Tailfeather!

Throw-Back Thursday from a summer day in June....a long, long time ago!  This is me at the beach with my mom and friends.  I will always treasure the wonderful memories (thank God I still have some) of my days at the beach!  

Today's post is brought to you by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.  Please stop by and enjoy the posts of others who share their hearts and souls!

Thanks for stopping by and enjoy your day!

10th Grade..I Can Still Remember!

Tenth Grade, where I lived, was the beginning of high school.  For me, it was a time to forget all of the stupid things I did in junior high, as well and to look forward to the fresh herd of young boys on which to crush!  I loved all of activities that were offered outside of the classes, especially the dances.  Our winter dance (they really don't have winter in Southern California) was an excuse to "clean up" and wear fancy clothes during the month of December.  This dance was traditionally a "girl-ask-boy" dance, which I loved because it meant that I would not have to sit around waiting for someone to ask me if I wanted to go with them. 

As soon as the dance date was announced, I wasted no time in asking a boy that I had a crush on, and to my amazement, he said "yes."  This boy was very popular, an athlete, and drop-dead gorgeous.  My jaw hit the ground when he accepted.  His name was Greg.  We double-dated with another couple, went to dinner at a fancy beach restaurant, and then danced the night away in my school's gym.  It was a magical night for me, and one of the absolutely perfect experiences of my entire high school career! 

What do you remember about Tenth Grade?  Please stop by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop to share your memories, or to just read some lovely memories of other loyal followers!  Just click here to visit!

Thanks so much for stopping by today!

How Far Is Heaven?

"No one wants to suffer.  No one wants to be lonely.  No one wants to live in fear. No one wants to lose everything. No one wants their heart ripped to shreds. No one wants to be sick.  And, no one wants to die. But these things happen in life.  So the least we can do is to be there for others, as we would like others to be there for us."  simplereminders.com

As I raised my children, I did everything I could to secure their well-being. I wanted them to have every opportunity to experience as much of life as they were able to dream. I tried to encourage them to have passion, and to follow that passion as much as possible.  They made it through the teenage years and into young adulthood with no major hiccups.  Then, it was time for me to let them go.  It was time to watch them fly and make their way in the world on their terms.  I’m not alone. I believe that this is a path taken by almost every parent. We all go through it, as did our parents, and their parents. As we set them free, we feel a sense of accomplishment and look forward to watching them flourish.  For some, it is their time to soar; for others, their time is cut short.  I am honored to share with you a few stories of some very special young men and women who left this earth too soon…by our timetables.

AUSTEN

Austen – This 19 year old promising rugby player greeted each day of his life with the anticipation and excitement of a child on Christmas morning.  He loved every minute of every day. He was blessed to have experienced so much in his young life.  He was a gifted athlete, a Boy Scout, and a loving son who lived his life doing all the right things with honor and grace.  As an only child, his parents made sure that he had every opportunity to explore and pursue his passions.  Besides the sport of rugby, Austen loved Formula 1 racing, history (WWII era) and doing just about anything with his friends.  His closest friends numbered around 13, both boys and girls, who had all grown up together.  

One of these friends wrote a tribute to Austen saying, "thank you for letting me share the last 11 years of my life with a best friend like you.  You've always had my back, been my brother, and I know you're still looking over me as you always will."  Austen's friends all remember the contagious smile he wore...sometimes a little goofy, but always a smile!

The St. Louis Rugby Community also acknowledged his contributions to the sport beginning with Parkway United Rugby Club in high school, to the Kohlfeld Scorpions of Cape Girardeau while in college at Southeast Missouri University.  He also made a few appearances with the St. Louis Bombers, the city's elite professional rugby organization that has competed throughout the United States and abroad for over half a century.  

Austen was very happy.  His life was not cut short from illness or poor choices. He was riding a motorcycle when he was hit by a car.  His demise came quickly and he did not suffer any pain. Austen gave the ultimate gift of organ donation and now lives on in in bodies of others. 

BOBBI

 Bobbi - was a bright, energetic and loving young woman.  Her story is more common that we know and I think it needs to be told...over and over...to bring awareness to the reason for her death.  Bobbi, a college graduate and in her mid-20’s, was well on her way to a successful life in a career, relationships and healthy living.  Her free spirit and creativity brought so much happiness to all who knew her.  Being an only child, she took advantage of every opportunity to spend time with her friends.  She was enjoying an evening out with some of her friends at a local establishment when her drink was spiked with a “date-rape” drug. Soon after ingesting, she had an adverse reaction. She became incapacitated and was having difficulty breathing. She was rushed to the hospital.  The doctors were unable to do anything for her and she passed within a few hours.  These drugs do not affect every person the same way, and can be dropped into a soda just as easily as any alcoholic beverage.

Bobbi was dearly loved by many and to this day, she continues to be a warm and loving memory for her family. I have two daughters. This is something I think about...a lot.  It can happen anywhere to anyone. 

BEN

Ben - an only child, and a 19 year old promising hockey player, was enjoying his first year of college.  He loved everything hockey, and gave back at his young age by officiating for youth hockey organizations. Although his passion was to play goalie or officiate at the highest level, he also dreamed of announcing hockey games and was working on a broadcasting degree at Illinois State University, Bloomington. 

 Ben lit up every room and every arena he entered.  From hometown friends, to college friends, to hockey referees Ben always left them smiling with his humor and caring demeanor.  Many of his friends all spoke of how Ben would drop everything to help them.  His sense of humor and grace under fire touched everyone who knew him. He once stepped in to sing the National Anthem when the scheduled singer didn't show at a game. He nailed it...not an easy song for anyone to sing!  
 
Ben was hit by a car while walking on the sidewalk in his college town. He suffered severe head injuries and was transported to the nearest hospital. After doctors exhausted all means possible to save him, they began discussing with Ben’s parents how Ben could save others.  Upon learning of Ben's accident, the Detroit Redwings sent him an autographed jersey that hung on the wall of his hospital room prior to his passing.  Ben also lives on in the bodies of others who received needed organs; one of them is now able to see because of Ben's gift. 


The individuals shared above were "only" children.  When they went left our world, they left incomprehensible voids in the lives of their parents.  Every day is a struggle for the parents to find their way in this new family situation. It takes strength and faith to keep moving forward. I believe that the love they shared with their children while on earth will carry them through until the day they are reunited.  

ERICA

Erica - knew how to make people feel good about themselves.  Her words touched souls in ways that changed lives.  She wanted to help others, whether it was through teaching in an educational setting, or by working with cancer patients who had lost their hair through chemo.  College educated and filled with a passion to make a difference, she struggled with what she was going to do with her life.  She wanted to know the whole picture and had difficulty accepting that she could not.  She seemed to always shine in the direction of others who needed it.  Little did anyone know, even those closest to her, that she was unable to shine for herself.  She always "smiled for the show" which many found so endearing.  
 

 Erica suffered from Depression, a disease that is more common than many want to admit because of the stigma associated with it.  It is a disease which symptoms appear in many different forms.  Anxiety, fear, and aggressive, obsessive and compulsive behaviors, can all be connected to Depression.  The signs are not always there, because "we don't want anyone to know" that we are weak, or that we are not "right."  Weak or “not right” can be described as a common character of almost everyone!  

 No one knew just how much pain Erica felt.  All of the intelligence and information available still could not save her from the emotional despair.  Even her strong faith in God was not enough to ease the pain. She just wanted it to go away and felt she had no place to take it.  Erica was found unresponsive by a sibling. I know this loving family, and if there had been any inkling that something was wrong, they would have intervened. 


Those who loved Erica found her independent, trusting, immensely creative, and willing to help anyone in need. On the flip side, she worried about the future and wanted to understand everything about everything.  That was important to her.  But life just isn’t like that.  She was unique in how she learned things, and somewhere along the line, she was given the impression that she was not "good enough" because she figured things out differently than others.

It starts early in life.  Our words have so much power.  We must use them wisely and with much love...not just with children, but also with our peers.

If you or someone close to you exhibits signs of Depression, please know that there is help at many different levels. It is a treatable disease. I started looking for help many years ago. I am grateful that I found it, when I needed it the most.     



I hope you have been touched by the stories of these beautiful children of God.  I became aware of the passing of Austen, Bobbi and Ben, all within a six-month period and felt moved to share them with others. As I began to write about them, I was reminded of Erica and wanted to share her story as a way to increase awareness of Depression.  Today is the four year anniversary of Erica's passing. 

Austen, Bobbi, Ben and Erica were all precious gifts and their loving memories will always have a special place in the hearts of those whom they loved. I wish to extend my thoughts and prayers to the families of each of them and my hope that they find healing as they celebrate the lives of each of these very special children.

Writer's Workshop - Memories of My Mom

I'd like you to meet my Mom, Jeanne. The cute guy next to her is my Dad, Richard. They both were taken home some time ago, but I've held on to the best memories. Their love story is a great one; but, I'll have to save it for another post.

I am at that point in my life when I don't remember where I put my keys 15 minutes ago, but I can remember every detail of my seventh birthday party! My best memories of my mom are those of her calm demeanor, her gentle nature and her ability to carry a conversation with everyone...from a preschooler to a PhD. She always had a supportive word for anyone in need.

She helped out at my Brownie meetings, she wrapped me in her arms as I cried my eyes out when I didn't make the high school cheer squad, and she stepped in as negotiator when I broke up with my boyfriend to be with another. She sewed a floor-length velvet cape for the Homecoming Queen at my brothers' school. Every time I had my braces tightened, she would take me for ice cream, and now I do the same for my daughter, Katya.

She was a perfectionist. My room always had to be spot clean. We would spend every spring break deep cleaning the house. The Parquet flooring had to be waxed only with the grain. I spent much of my life trying to live up to her standards, but I always felt like I came up short. I think she was disappointed that I didn't get an undergraduate degree as she had. She once told me that she "didn't see me as a career woman." Well, of course, that stopped a few dreams. Then there was the acting...she would come watch me, but her support to continue with that journey just wasn't there.

She was the only person whose opinion meant anything to me. When I had my first child, I felt like I had finally done something worthy enough for her acceptance and love. I was so looking forward to sharing this child with her and having both of us grow closer. She died three months later. I was angry at her, and I was angry at God. I felt so cheated. It wasn't until years later that I realized why she had to leave, and that it was God's choice, not mine or hers. I can now comprehend how very much she loved me and what she sacrificed for me. That's what moms do, any way they can.

I am still learning parenting and life skills from her 25 years later. I miss her dearly, but I know that part of her is locked away inside my heart. When I talk to my kids about her, the lock falls off and they get to see her through my eyes and words. Thanks, Mom...and I love you, too.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!


Thank you Lord for Kat over at Mama's Losin It! She hosts a workshop on Wednesdays and challenges bloggers to write about one of her suggested prompts. Since I'm still brain-dead from most weekends, this is a great motivation for me to write without having to come up with my own topic...just free flowing mumbling about the prompt that grabs me the most. Please stop by and say hello by clicking on the symbol below!

Random Dozen - Valentines Style

It's been a while since I've joined in the fun of Linda's Random Dozen. She gives everyone 12 questions to answer and by doing so, something new is learned by all. It's always interesting to read the answers of other bloggers, as well as, the challenge to provide my own answers. Please click on the 2nd Cup of Coffee Logo and come party with the rest of us!

Here we go!

1. Are you pleasant when you're ill, or are you a grumpy, fussy patient?

I am not very pleasant; in fact I'm downright witchy!

2. When you find out that school is canceled (due to inclement weather) what is your gut reaction?

I jump for joy until I remember that I don't get paid when school is cancelled!

3. What is one domestic skill you wish you could improve?

Coming up with fresh ideas for quick dinners!

4. Do you decorate your home for Valentine's Day?

No. I only decorate for holidays where I can leave the decs up for a few weeks!

5. What song is on your mind today?

Girls Just Want to Have Fun, by Cindy Lauper.

6. Do you prefer contemporary movies or classic?

Mostly contemporary, but will watch the classics because the "old ball and chain" likes the classics!

7. How well do you "compartmentalize" your feelings? For example, how well can you put aside a really trying moment to deal with the immediate situation which is not related to the trying moment, e.g., putting aside a tiff with your spouse in order to finish wallpapering a room.

Not very well. The Irish in me comes out and explodes. Once that has happened, it's over and I can continue. I usually have to see it through, or it will eat away at me.

8. What is the first thing that attracted you to your spouse? (Or if you're single, to your best friend.)

He looked inexperienced. I thought I would be able to teach him in "my ways"!

9. When was the last time your heart raced?

A week or so ago when I thought Brad and Angelina might break up.

10. What are your memories of Valentine's Day at school?

Candy Hearts, making Valentine boxes and then passing my valentines out to everyone.

11. If you were going to receive candy for Valentine's Day, which would you prefer?

Anything, as long as it was sugarless.

12. Red or pink?

Definitely red!!

Thanks for stopping by!