I learned many lessons from my mom...really important stuff like rolling up dad's damp handkerchiefs and putting them in the fridge before ironing. I learned that nothing compares with the smell of sheets dried on a clothesline. When dad was out of town, I could eat anything I wanted for dinner...as long as I prepared it...Cheerios was my most favorite! I carried this tradition on with my children, except we had pancakes! I learned that good friends are just as important as family...in some cases, more important, especially if there were problems with family!
My mother's actions taught me so very much, but her words are the lessons I remember most. The following is a story I wrote about a few of my mother's words. I previously posted this story, but feel that it should be shared again.
When I was in high school, my mom
and I argued with each other…a lot! I
saw it as the Battle of Hormones….me just getting some and hers…well…just
raging! Eventually, we both settled down
and became great friends. She would
listen to me whine for hours and then give me a hug, telling me I would “figure
it out.”
I was a lifelong dieter, always
looking for that “perfect” diet that would make me thin and beautiful…and only
take 24 hours! I remember sitting across the kitchen table from mom with tears
rolling down my cheeks. I asked her “why
can’t I stop eating?” She just looked at me and began to cry. She didn’t tell me that she was bulimic. With
her silence, she saved me from that destructive disease. She did, however, hold
me and tell me I would be okay.
After the birth of my first child,
by c-section, hers was the first face I saw when I woke up. She smiled and told me “He’s perfect!” Then
she leaned in a little closer and said softly, “you can do anything!” I smiled at her and then fell back asleep.
These four words were immediately
etched upon my heart. They spoke to me
during Tommy’s all-night feedings; and when he discovered that he couldn’t walk
on water…in a Jacuzzi; or, when his bike decided to kiss the sidewalk as he
rounded the corner. I got used to less sleep.
I found the energy and stamina to hold it all together during the ER
visits. I found the words needed to comfort him. I found I could do what had to
be done, because of my mom’s words.
I heard the words again, seconds
after the thump and delayed screams of Matt, when he opened up the back of his
head on the fireplace after a very creative dismount from the ottoman. By now, I now had a reserved parking spot at
the ER. I watched in horror as they tried to subdue him so they could stitch
him up. He kicked and screamed, and
refused to stay still long enough to for them to have any success. They even
put him in a pediatric straight jacket; he got out! He finally passed out from exhaustion, which
gave the doctors time to do their thing, and me a few minutes to regroup and
focus. “I can do this” said that little
voice inside of me.
And the time that Edie wandered
off from the beach blanket because she saw better snacks somewhere else. That was the longest 15 minutes of my
life! My first words were, “God, please
help me find her!” I put my trust in God, and the hunting party of dad and her
brothers as we scoured the sea of blankets and umbrellas. A force drew me to a large family enjoying
their lunch. There she was! They had DONUTS! We didn’t have donuts! I wanted to
squeeze the life out of her and scold her for leaving but the words that came
from my lips were loving and full of joy at seeing her again. As we walked away, I thanked God, my mom and
her new adopted family.
Kara was so sensitive
that she would cry at the change of weather.
One day, out of the blue, she began to sob uncontrollably. I said to
myself, “Help me out here, Mom.” My mind flew back to my acting days when I had
to sing for a test in voice class. As I
sang “Pretty Little Horses” and gently rocked her, she calmed down…so much…that
I had to check her pulse! When she was
20 and we were 2,000 miles from home, she began sobbing yet again, desperately
trying to hold it in. She told me that
she had chest pains and her left arm hurt. Having heart disease in the family,
I wasted no time. I found the strength to get her to the nearest ER (where I
had to fight for a parking spot). It wasn’t her heart; it wasn’t gastro; it
wasn’t her lungs; it wasn’t imaginary!
She was still in pain. I thought
of Shirley MacLaine in “Terms of Endearment” when she was screaming for meds
for her daughter…MY DAUGHTER IS IN PAIN! JUST GIVE HER SOMETHING FOR HER
PAIN!!! A firm hand from above covered
my mouth and my words were kind, and to the point. I will never forget the look
of euphoria on her face when the morphine kicked in. I thanked God for taking away her pain, and
my mom for holding me together.
The words, “You Can Do Anything”
never had deeper meaning than on the day I found my mom unresponsive at home.
You see, it was only three months after she had first spoken the words to
me. My life as a mother had just
begun.
“Not now, please God, not now” I
sobbed as the tears began to flow. I felt a stirring deep inside of my soul
which took control and guided me through the next few days. My mom’s words gave
me the courage to be strong for my dad, my brothers and a very long list of
friends. Over the years, her friends
reached out to me with motherly advice (probably her doing), and her sister,
Alice, became “Grandma” to each of my four children giving them the very best
ever “Grandma” memories.
My mother’s words have helped me
achieve goals in my life that I never thought were possible. After a lifetime
of being a food addict, I discovered the way out; I found that I had a passion
for writing and I delight in how it makes me feel; I learned that I can
actually let go of “things and people” and live to tell about it; but most
importantly, I found a way to change how I see the world. Now, I laugh, I dance
and I hug total strangers! I reach out
to others and pass along these four magical words, “you CAN do anything!”
Tag…You’re It!
Thank you for stopping by today. My post is brought to you by Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. Please click here to visit her page where you will be find writings of some very talented people that will delight you!
