Vacation...California Style

For the past 12 months, we have been planning a week-long vacation around the celebration of my father-in-law's 90th Birthday party. First, it's not every day that one is invited to be a part of such an extraordinary milestone! Second, if one is going to travel 2,000 miles to attend a weekend function, one might as well hang out there for at least a week! It would cost us plenty, but we figured that our kids will be paying off the national debt for years to come, why not the Mastercard, too?



Both my husband and myself grew up in Southern California, and my cherubims were all born there, as well. We all have our favorite places, but we all agree that our most favorite place is the beach. There is something soothing about the crash of the waves, the warmth of the sun's rays and the distinct feel of wet sand in a bathing suit that conjures up memories of years past. We were fortunate enough to hit four beaches during our eight-day stay.


Our home base was San Diego, and we travelled as far north as Santa Monica, where we missed the turnoff for the beach and ended up driving dangerously close to Beverly Hills as we tried to find our way back to the water. There was a marked change in the four beaches we visited as far as the appearance, population, and (thanks to our friends Down under for the storm they sent us) the size of the waves. The "surf was up" all over, and with strong currents! There were many surfers in the water, all of whom dreamed of that "perfect wave." We settled for boogie boards and jumping the waves! I stayed clear of the shore so as not to be mistaken for a beached whale! But the smells and sounds took me back to a time when life was so plain and simple...what bathing suit to wear and which guy would I stalk next!



Of course, no visit to Southern Cali is complete without a day at Disneyland! We dropped off the kids at the park, and then went slumming at the beach, had lunch and then went to see "Ice Age" killing time until dinner.

The kids came over from the park and we all met for dinner with Ed's Godparents in Downtown Disney. We were still sitting around talking after two hours when the kids returned to the park so they could finish their list of rides.


We watched the fireworks from our table and then began the long walk to work off dinner.










Our last excursion before the big birthday party was the zoo! They had pandas! These animals look just like the stuffed animals in the stores...imagine that! We walked about a million miles (pre-dinner workout) and then rode the sky buckets back to the main entrance. Back to the hotel for naps, showers and primping!




Dinner was to-die-for! We had a private room with flowing champagne and really hot servers (not the warming plates, but the waiters)! Since moi no longer consumes alcohol, I watched as the family consumed buckets of these beverages. My normally reserved Hero and Rock (who are both over 21) came alive with conversation and giddiness. Ed, who is almost 18 asked for a taste, so I thought "what the heck; she's not driving." After she finished my glass of champagne and the wine I was given with dinner, she, too, became a very happy girl. Katya and I were the designated drivers for the evening!

Brunch the next morning was on yet, another beach (that makes five) at a restaurant right on the water. Again, champagne and mimosas were on the family menu! Katya and I had the thickest french toast we'd ever seen, topped with ice cream! We had a plane to catch for the last stop on our trip, so we ate and ran, thanking and hugging everyone on our way out. On to Vegas!


We spent only 18 hours in Vegas...just enough time to check out the lobbies of several hotels, get lost, and develop blisters from too much walking in bad shoes! The kids enjoyed "Beatles LOVE" at the Mirage, while Retro and I played the penny slots! He had a beer and I had a DIET COKE on the ROCKS! We dragged ourselves back to my aunt's condo and collapsed. Our flight home the next morning was at 9:40am, with a three hour layover in L.A., at which time we were told we would be boarding a different plane at a different gate, which wouldn't leave for another hour. Once on the plane, we plugged in our mp3earplugs and watched "17 Again." Then our descent to home began. Needless to say, we slept like a bunch of hibernating bears that night!



The first, last and most important place we visited was "In N Out Burger"! You know that euphoric look on a baby's face just as he/she finishes its mother's milk? Well, picture six people sitting in a booth with that same look on their faces as they devoured mass quantities of burgers, fries and shakes! We have yet to find anything that comes close in comparison. Too bad they won't come to the midwest!

We've been home a week, and the exhaustion still lingers. I have two weeks before school starts and I return to work. I can write my "To Do" list on an entire role of toilet paper, but I won't!

At least the kids will have sufficient material for their "What I did on My Summer Vacation" essays!

Hope you have some great vacation memories to share!

My Body, Your Body, Any Body!

So, I was thinking the other day, how can I get myself motivated so that I can motivate others? I subscribe to several weight management (I don't like to call it "weight loss" because I don't always lose weight) newsletters which, for some reason, (probably the Big Guy up there trying to drop a few hints to me) seem to be quite interesting and helpful. I found the following quote from a newsletter I receive from Bob Greene.

"I know that I became overweight because I was out of touch with my body and because I had developed a food addiction. Now, I'm constantly checking in with my body to determine whether I want to eat because of hunger or because I have some emotion that I want to avoid. To me, health means having a healthy relationship with my body and that means nurturing it and not abusing it, and enjoying what I eat. To nurture my body is to feed it foods that will give me energy and nutrients."

Emotional eating....hit the nail two feet into the wood for me! I very rarely eat because I am hungry...I am hardly ever hungry. I love food! I really love sweet things, and eating sweet things can sometimes be a full-time job for me! I try not to think about anything while I'm eating. That's my problem! While I chew and savor, my mind is on the food and nothing else. Food is my "happy place" that I go to when I need a break from reality. The problem with that is, I spend most of my time on break and very little time dealing with real things. And, boys and girls, can you tell me where this kind of thinking takes one? Duh......

So, let's get that healthy relationship with food that was mentioned above. Telling myself that I ONLY WANT food that is going to nuture me and give me energy, will be one of the hardest things to do. Sugar gives me energy, and I feel nutured whenever I eat chocolate. So what's the big deal? Maybe, just maybe, I could think about making substitutions here and there. Ya think? Grapes are sweet, sort of like sugar, and they don't signal the brain to eat mass quantities like some cookies or candy will. Brushing hair is a form of nurturing, so are manis and pedis, no? Do ya think I could come up with a solid or a liquid that actually made me feel loved? It's possible that picturing water going through my body and picking up the gunk so I can "eliminate" it, could be a form of loving myself.

But, let's not get carried away here, Missy! We don't want to get a big head, now! I've spent almost my whole life abusing myself with food! It ain't gonna change overnight! "BUT I WANT IT NOW!!!" cried Verushka. "Patience, my dear!" If I can manage to substitute "healthy" and "nurturing" foods for the processed, sugary junk to which I have become accustomed, maybe...just maybe I could learn a little patience instead of stomping my feet and demanding immediate results. Wow! What a concept!

They say it takes 21 to 30 days to change a habit. Well here goes.....

"Back on The Road Again"

Our school won the Health and Wellness Challenge with a total loss of 202 pounds. It averaged out to 10 pounds per person (someone stole four of my 10 pounds). I didn't come in last with points, but I did give the last person a run for their money!

The Health Gestapo thanked everyone involved, and invited us all to come back next year for another challenge. He did suggest that we continue with our routine of exercise and healthy eating habits. When I finish detoxing from Easter candy, an office birthday party, and secretary's day, I plan to do just that! I have two more days to indulge myself, or as some see it, self-indulge! Speaking of self-indulging, please read about an encounter I had with my girlfriends here for a little chuckle.

I must admit, I do feel very good on the days that I get my two miles walked. Eating sensibly also seems to perk up my attitude somewhat. Then I open the mail and see one of many medical services denied by the insurance company because I have yet to meet the "personal deductible." I get so mad that I just want to rip my teeth into a really large Hershey bar...or 25 Hershey Kisses...or fill my mouth with an entire can of whipped topping. You laugh...HA..HA..ye silly minds. For a lot of people, this is reality.

Growing up in the 50's and 60's I was taught to hold my feelings inside. "Never let them see you cry," I was told. Showing anger outwardly, was unacceptable. Sadness should never be displayed. I became an expert at hiding negative feelings...I just stuffed them down with food. My little act was so good that I would even hide the happy feelings. My grandmother would purposely tease or criticize me to get some sort of reaction, but I was too good at masking it. Maybe that's why I always had a stomach ache when I was around her.

The successes that I have had throughout my journey did not occur until I began to finally grow up. I was almost 40. I lived each day by being honest to myself and followed these simple rules: (1)move the butt every day for 20 minutes; (2) follow the food pyramid as close as possible; (3) if all of the ingredients in a food cannot be pronounced, don't put it in the mouth; (4) get away from self-pity by performing random acts of kindness. It also helps for me to have someone to whom I can be accountable, preferably someone with Gestapo background.

There are days when none of the above apply, and all rules fly out the window. I try to keep those days to a minimum. No matter what happens on any given day, I never lose hope. I say a little prayer, grab my guitar, and get "Back on the Road Again!"

Okay, It's Past January 5th

I didn't make any resolutions this year. I haven't made any for a long, long time! (But for me, a long, long time could mean at least 20 minutes.) I just take the New Year concept and earnestly try to make myself a better person. Usually, this involves losing weight. Sound familiar?

Working in an environment that cares a lot about kids, I've learned how to not repeat parenting mistakes more than two or three times. (Once again, it's the memory thing, and I need a little repetition to make it stick.) I don't yell like I used to yell, I don't use sarcasm, criticism and/or cynicism when I'm with my kids. I just use these things when I'm around clueless adults.

What I DO have a hard time changing is the food thing. I've been surfing blogs today and found some interesting and entertaining posts about losing weight, eating healthy and getting hot guys to ask me out. (Not the third thing; that was just an impulse I had, sorry) I found a great site, http://www.pastaqueen.com/, which I highly recommned you to visit. The author of the site, Jennette Fulda, is hilarious! She has also written a book, "Half-Assed a weight-loss memoir" which chronicles her journey through a 200 pound weight loss. Her posts are very thought provoking and her followers raise great questions and ideas to which many of us can relate.

My journey, which started when I was about 11, has been up, down, sideways, successful, crappy and never-ending. It took about 20 years of therapy, numerous diets, tears, yelling, self-destructing, lying, learning to camouflage, cheating, fantasizing, drop-kicking Barbie dolls across the room, and denying that I could have a problem. A phone conversation with a good friend got me thinking when she said, "It's okay to have a few cookies when you want to; it's just not okay to have the whole package." Wow! The light-bulb went on!

My next step was joining a 12-step program for people with eating disorders. I bawled my eyes out for about six months, listening to the stories of emotional and physical pain caused by being overweight. I also bawled my eyes out listing to the success stories and how lives were changed. I wanted what they had. I finally mustered up the nerve to ask someone to be my sponsor. They said "no" and I was crushed! I felt that this was my last chance to "fix" my weight problem.

I continued to go to meetings, developed a better understanding of how the program worked, and finally asked another person to be my sponsor. She said "yes" and that I should call her the next morning. I called the next morning and was given my instructions. From this day forward, my sponsor (I called her "The Gestapo") and I talked every single day. She said that if I didn't call her, she was going to call me, and I'd be in deep doodoo. She didn't take any crap from me (and she knew when I was dishing it out). I lost 50 pounds in six months, felt wonderful, and had begun to give back by being a sponsor to someone else.

After spawning two more little people, added to the two I already had, I found my time was a little more restricted and attending meetings became a real challenge. Sponsoring others also took the toll of not having the time. I never gave up, however. My participation dwindled and then the shame of gaining the weight back kept me from going because if I went, I had to be honest and divulge my "sins."

I still have not given up hope. And, as long as I have hope, I can make changes that will result in a healthier lifestyle. I am inspired by the people in "Bloggerdom" and actually started this blog to "be honest" and work towards making my life a better place to be.

Oh, and by the way, I found God through this 12-step program. I mean, I always knew who he was, but I really got to know him as I worked my way through this program. Subsequently, I have been involved in several prayer groups and continue this day to be a prayer warrior for anybody who needs one!

Thanks for stopping by!

The Great Change-Up

Boys and Girls, can you tell me what caused this particular reaction in this picture? Is it...

1. Mom, after too much sugar, white flour or chocolate;
2. Mom, after blogging or working on her writings into the wee hours;
3. Mom, the morning after the seventh day of the Seven Day Whoopie Challenge (please see http://www.bettyconfidential.com for explanation);
4. Some, or all of the above.

We all have those days when, no matter what, we end up in this position after some sort of overload. The word for today boys and girls, is: Change in moderation. Just because it takes you 15 minutes on the phone with the the bank telling you to "please say..." or "please press..." before you are speaking to a human being, it doesn't mean that you must reward your patience with an entire gooey cake, two Grands Cinnabon Rolls, a chocolate shake and a custard cup full of M&Ms. Along with the same idea, it's not healthy to eat to suppress your desire to shove the telephone down the throat of the human being on the other end. It really is okay to have those fantasies...the food ones, as well as the shoving ones!

Food, glorious food, is something some of us use on a regular basis to deal with incompetence, anger, frustration, disappointment, sadness and even, joy. We push those puppies down low with food. It's numbing out, sort of like an alcoholic or user would do to avoid dealing with the challenges of life. When we are almost out of room inside, we realize that something's got to give. A change needs to be made. We spend so much time of our lives living with bad habits. For some of us, change requires us to turn inward to find out who really lives there. When we do, we get to know the most interesting and wonderful people.

The most amazing person one can meet is oneself! When we are able to truly see who we are, it is then that we can decide what we need to keep, and what needs to be discarded. Letting go of something we've owned for so long can be heartbreaking... like a favorite toy or book. Once we realize that the things we need to release are the same things that keep us from growing, it doesn't seem like such a hard thing to do. With the negatives out of the way, the possibilites are endless. We could be the Princesses we've always wanted to be!

It's the journey that matters. As long as we keep moving...every day...doing something that brings us closer to our goal, we can feel good about ourselves and our accomplishments. We are still going to have setbacks, but we can deal with them differently. Instead of eating, drinking or otherwise...how about writing, playing, exercising, walking away from the situation for a while, or in some cases, confronting the challenge head on. "You want a piece of me? Come and get it!"

Then, there is always the Big Guy upstairs! Yes, I mean God. Let him help out when we feel trapped. We can give him our frustration, anger, sadness and disappointment. We can then ask him to simply tell us what it is that he wants us to do. The answers will come.

We need to remember that we can change our lives, one habit at a time, and, we don't have to do it alone!