P is for Pfftt!

Yeah, you heard me! Just say the letter "P" and blow out while your two front teeth lay on top of your bottom lip. It's an easy word...a lot easier than saying "oh, paleeeze!" It has been my mantra for the last few weeks. It helps relieve some of the stress that gets in while I am talking.

Why the stress? Well, can you say "PRINCESS" and "SLACKER" at the same time? These are the things that drive me to chocolate, sugar, or watching Breaking Dawnfor the 22nd time!



Princess "E" doesn't want to drive her car (with no air bags) when it is windy because it's hard to drive in a straight line; or if it's too cold, because the heater is 30 years old (VW Bus)and doesn't work so well. So, she begs, tearfully, to use my car (pretentious SUV - the one with butt warmers) claiming that she is just going to drive it to school and then will come straight home. You've heard that one before, haven't you?



Then, Princess "K" who drives a 40 year old (Karman Ghia)car (with no heat or air, and no air bags) who also wants the butt warmers, pleads as if her head is on the chopping block. "But mooooommmmmm! I can't drive with the top down because it really messes up my hair!" I guess she has a good point, as she is a stylist by trade.

Oh, Pfftt! I give in, and then stay home all the time because I'm scared silly to drive a 30 or 40 year old manual transmission auto! I must admit, I'm getting caught up on facebook, my blog reading, and can proudly say that I now play two-suits Spider Solitaire!



Let's not forget Slacker Mr. "T"! His big break is just around the corner. He produces Rap Battles at local venues, and even participates in some of them. Rap Battles are spontaneous insult debates in "Rap" form. He wears a mask most of the time which gives him an edge when rapping, by concealing laughter and drooling. I think the mask is hideous; he really is a handsome guy and loves his work, but like most everything else in the entertainment business that's fun, there's no money in it!



Then, there is Mr. "M", the (graphic designer)artiste! He works at home from his computer #1 while playing online war games on computer #2. He's one of the few men I know who can multi-task, and get it right! He's not a slacker, or a "prince", but it's hard to call him for dinner as I don't know which computer he is on (he hates to be interrupted if it's the war game!). Oh, pfftt!

I think I need a girl's weekend! Anyone game?

This letter "P" is brought to you by Jenny Matlock, Off On My Tangent! She is a delightful Headmistress of a well-to-do writing establishment. Please click on the logo below to read other "P" stories from some of my fellow classmates.

Thanks for stopping by.

Goodbye, Mother

It's Saturday Centus time! Our fearless leader, Jenny Matlock, Off On My Tangent is the the midst of a move. Hence, the prompt for this week, "Saying goodbye was harder than she thought." Our assignment is to write astory, poem, song, etc., using only 100 words, plus the seven words in the prompt. I usually enjoy making up goofy stories that are part-fiction, however, a "not-so-goofy" story came to my mind and I thought I would share it. This week's prompt is in bold.


Leila found her mother’s body. She made the calls. She watched the coroner leave as everyone arrived with food. No time for goodbyes.

“I’ll say goodbye at the service,” Leila thought. When the family arrived, they all hugged and cried. Leila’s mother left a note with the Will, “memorial service?” The family voted; Leila lost 3-1. No service.

Leila was livid. Her mother had so many friends who would have attended just to see her one more time, even if it were only her ashes. Her mother was buried at sea…by strangers.

Standing at the pier’s end, Leila fell apart. Saying goodbye was harder than she thought.


Thank you for stopping by today. Please stop by Jenny's by clicking on the logo below, to read some great stories by many of her friends.

The Happiest Chair on Earth!

Once again, welcome to Saturday Centus by Jenny Matlock, Off on My Tangent! The Saturday challenge to come up with a story, poem, song or Haiku using a specific number of words. Sometimes it's 50 words, sometimes it's six (like last week), and sometimes she is gracious to the wordy (speaking about myself) and allows 100 words. She gives us a prompt (topic) to write about and the rest is up to us! I had fun with this one; hope you like it, too! The prompt is in bold.


We were so excited to attend the opening of the Pee Wee Herman Museum! Being great fans of his movies and TV show, we were so looking forward to getting up close to the memorabilia.

As we slowly walked through the main hall we noticed a small room off to the left. Peeking in, we saw “Chairry”, the happiest chair on earth! How could you not giggle and feel happy sitting in a chair that could wrap its arms around you? The chair dominated the small room, but on each wall, there were pictures of characters sitting on “Chairry”, having the time of their life!

Please check out some great "chair" stories by clicking on Jenny's logo below. Thanks for stopping by!

It's Fat Tuesday and I'm Home Alone!

I just got home from work...not the best day I've had...and I have the whole house to myself (except for the dog)! It's Fat Tuesday, there's nobody here but me, and my head is swimming with ideas! I've already had a cup of "3-2-1 Cake"; and I just finished baking a package of Pillsbury Simply Peanut Butter cookies, which are half gone at this point. This very minute I am washing down the little that was left in my bird-like mouth with a glass of milk!

I'm not a big Mardi Gras fan. I don't drink alcohol. But that usually doesn't stop me from watching people overcome by intoxication try to get across the street and into the next bar. That was me in my early twenties. Born and raised in Southern California, I had never seen the Rose Parade live. One year, my friends and I went down to claim a spot along the parade route the evening before. It's New Year's Eve and we don't want to look awkward, so we drink whatever everyone else is drinking. I was drinking wine that comes in a box. Now I have nothing against liquids that come in a box. Koolaid and apple juice come in boxes. It's just that the wineries don't have kegs, so they use boxes. Anyway, I drank too much. My speech was totally Klingon, I could barely walk over to the bushes to throw up, and I just wanted to go to sleep. So I climbed into my sleeping bag and passed out. The next morning, before the parade started, I felt sick so I had my friend drive me home. THE ONE TIME I HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO SEE THE PASADENA ROSE PARADE LIVE...AND I BLEW IT!!!

Do you think I learned from this experience? You're right. Within a year, I found myself in love with Brandy (not the singer). I'll say no more. Thank the good Lord for arranging my first pregnancy! I had nothing to drink for about a year. The first glass of wine I drank did not taste very good, and I started singing the National Anthem before I finished it. By the fourth pregnancy, my tolerance was a big fat zero. I can't even take a whiff of the stuff without losing my balance and mistaking the light pole for my husband.

So, getting back to FAT TUESDAY...I guess I'll just have to make pancakes for dinner, with bananas and whipped cream (and maybe, just maybe...a little chocolate syrup on top). I promise to walk the dog at least 10 times tomorrow!

*3-2-1 Cake: Mix a box of any kind of cake with a box of Angel Food cake. In a custard cup, measure 3 tablespoons of the cake mixture, 2 tablespoons of water, and mix together. Microwave on high for 1 minute. Let it cool, and VOILA! A sweet snack that can only be made sweeter with some really thick frosting! Hey, I can hear lip-smackin'! Knock it off!

My Life in Six Words?

It's Saturday Centus time...Yayyyyy!! This is the weekly challenge to create a story, poem, song, novella or Haiku from an idea or prompt given by the illustrious Jenny Matlock, Off On My Tangent. Normally we are given a DECENT amount of words to work with, but this week is payback. We are to write our autobiography using only six, that's right, words. Since I usually have to delete words from my pieces because they are too long...like this paragraph, I feel particularly challenged to sum up my life in six words, but here goes:

ETERNAL HOPE THROUGH DESPAIR AND JOY

My first thoughts were "I party like there's no tomorrow," or "finders keepers losers weepers nanny nanny." How about "eat to live; live to eat?" But then I haven't always been connected to these particular words. I think "despair" and "joy" are feelings we've all had, coming or going. But I've always had hope for "better days" through it all, especially the joyful days when I hoped to pass that feeling on to someone who needed it.


Please stop by Jenny's place and enjoy some autobiographies of my fellow Centusians! Just click on the logo below and enjoy some great reads!

SC-The Wedding Was at The Firehouse!

Welcome to Saturday Centus, the weekly "let's see how creative you can be" assignment from Jenny Matlock, Off on My Tangent. This week, our prompt is "The Wedding was at the Firehouse." Here is my offering, which by the way is almost 100% true! I started out with 205 words and brought it down to 117! I just couldn't take away any more words!


We were both a little quirky, but agreeing to the wedding at a Firehouse? It was the second for us both, and we wanted something different.

On the morning of our special day, the decorations were up and the Firehouse “chef” was busy cooking the wedding meal. .

A call came in for a fire about five miles away. The guys all jumped into the truck, locking the station doors behind them. In the rush, Chef Pierre forgot to turn off the stove.

The firehouse caught fire, the doors were locked and the 911 call was made. It was too late. The firehouse burned to the ground.

The wedding was rescheduled and took place at the beach.


Thanks for stopping by. Please click on the logo below to read some very good stories from my friends.

The Pod is Changing

Welcome to Saturday Centus, brought to you by the refreshing Jenny Matlock of "Off On My Tangent." Each Saturday morning she offers up challenging assignments for her loyal followers. This week, our topic is "Two Peas in a Pod." The two peas that I am most familiar with are my daughters. I have a picture, locked away in my basement so well that I could not find it, which would have perfectly gone with this post. I guess it just wasn't to be. Our family so misses the beach, and each time that we visit California, we make it a point to catch some real beach rays. Here's my story with the prompt in bold.

In contemplating our move north and a new life sans children, I thought about our first big move from the Pacific Coast to the Midwest. We made it the adventure of a lifetime. The girls would have beach days inside, with their bathing suits and towels, looking like two peas in a pod!

This time, it will be different. The kids aren’t coming. It’s time to downsize. We will have the Mother of garage sales to let go of 36 years of stuff/memories.

I will embrace this new chapter. Where will I find drama? Where will I get my writing material? Look out, Daddyo!

Please wade over to Jenny's Place and get wowed by some of the great talent of my fellow followers. Just click on the logo below!

Picture provided by candidreflections.net, a very beautiful place to visit.

Thanks for stopping by!