One More Blog, Dear!

I think I'm going to take a speed-reading class. Do they still offer them somewhere? Every time I log on, I first read posts from my favorite blog acquaintences, and then, without realizing, it is the wee hours of the morn. In one sense, this is good, because the later I can take Tootsie out to do her business, the later she is going to let me sleep in. In the other sense, I find myself dragging my sorry ass to bed before I can even get five words written!

I feel so fortunate that I have happened on so many intriguing blogs! The thoughts and honest (I think they are mostly honest) words that are being written out there are forcing me to regrow the brain cells that I thought were lost through years of breastfeeding.

Sometimes I really have to work hard to figure out what someone is saying, whether or not it makes sense, and how I want to respond, if at all! I can either respond like the biker in "Little Miss Sunshine" when Olive finished her delightful dance to "Super Freak", as he threw his arms in the air and yelled "Yeeaahhh!!!!", or I can simply say, "No, that's not how it is!"

I am loving that I get to read about women (and men) who share many of the same feelings and opinions that I do. I also love it when they don't, because it affords me an opportunity to express myself verbally before I cut off my nose with words that are not thought through very well. It's sort of like trying to make a left turn and when an oncoming car travelling -5 mph, puts its blinker on two feet before turning. I summon every ounce of air in my lungs, and simply scream, "Thanks for the advance notice, a$$h*le!"

Too many fun blogs...not enough time!

That Thing I Gave Up For Lent.....

Yeah...right! Well, I didn't actually give anything up. Instead, I was given the idea by fellow blogger, Dawn Meehan at BECAUSE I SAID SO to perform a random act of kindness each day of the Lenten season. Okay..okay...okay (remember Joe Pesci in the Lethal Weapon movies?) I have been diligent in trying to find kind acts to perform randomly. One can only open so many doors, let in so many cars, keep the mouth zipped while so many someones are flogging you verbally, and answer a call that you know will take 20 minutes when you only have five to spare!

I am so totally thrilled with one act randomly performed last week. This act was a joint venture of five women. I want to share with you the joy I received from one of the venturers in connection with this act.

Okay...okay...okay... Some of you know that I work at a middle school (grades 6,7 & 8). Some of our 8th grade girls were trying out for next fall's freshman cheerleading at the high school they will attend. About 20 or 30 girls signed up for the information meeting two weeks ago. Last week, the high school held a three-day clinic and then tryouts on Thursday. There were certain requirements the girls had to have prior to participating in the clinic and tryouts. One such requirement was a current (one year old) physical.

There were a few girls who had problems with the medical physical. One of those girls is a Voluntary Transfer Student who had a most difficult time getting her physical prior to the clinic. She was allowed to watch the clinic, but could not participate. Several of us at the school hold a special place in our hearts for this student. A couple of phone calls, emails and downright begging helped us get this girl ready for tryouts. We had no idea how she would perform, only that she is a very sweet girl, and if given the right circumstances, would shine as bright as Michael Jackson's glove.

As she left school on the day of tryouts, I wished her well, telling her that no matter what happened, she should just smile and have fun. I opened my school email this morning and found an email from one of our principals, telling me that she had made the squad!! I was so overcome with joy, I could not contain the tears! Okay...okay...okay...I scrambled for the tissue box and finally contained the tears! I thanked God, and then I thanked all of the people who had anything to do with getting her to the tryouts last week.

I just know she is going to be terrific! Okay...okay...okay...I know she will be totally awesome!!

Get Back on That Wagon!!

Yes, it is true. I fell off the wagon a few weeks ago. Fortunately for me, I only sustained a few bruises. It could have been worse. My wagon could have been sailing down Lombard Street in San Francisco, but I was lucky and it was only travelling on one of the (10 billion) flat highways of Texas!

How did I lose my balance and fall? What evil spirit entered my brain and told me that one chocolate chip cookie wouldn't hurt? As I fought this evil spirit, the Girl Scout cookies arrived. Aaarrrggghhh! I gave in to the monster! It took hold of my mind and body and had it's evil way with me!

Well, it is back to the structured meal plan I was on (for a week or so) last summer. Since I only work when school is in session, and I don't make up for the 1.5 miles I walk each day on my deliveries (messages to Johnny to come pick up your bleepin lunch or the math book you left on the kitchen table), I gained 10 pounds during the first two weeks of summer. The food plan I began, which was basically designed for dead people, included cutting my current intake in half, denying my body and mind of all foods containing refined sugar, saturated fats and fun, and, caused me to lose 10 pounds in about 10 days.

Once I had drained my body of all chemically-made endorphins, I began to see life in a more colorful light. The thought of staying on this food plan for more than a month scared the heck out of me! I mean, here I was, losing weight, feeling a little more energy and actually thinking about success. Then, FEAR reared its ugly head! How can it be possible for success and fear to be in the same sentence? It's the story of my life! What if I actually became a normal size? Oh my goodness! Someone might notice! I won't be able to hide behind my fat any longer! Sound familiar?

Pretty sick thinking, no? You'd be amazed to know how many of us are out there! You'd also be amazed to know how many former chubbies who are now "normal sized" people still think like this. It's a condition that many will fight for the rest of their lives. Well, I say, "Lean to the left, lean to the right, stand up, sit down, fight, fight, fight!"

I'm willing to fight the demons for the rest of my life, because if I don't, I won't have a life. It's not just the clothes, the compliments and the invitations to social events. It's breathing (unassisted); it's the ability of movement without a scooter or wheelchair; it's not having to take a dozen medications just to get the eyes opened each morning; it's having friends, a spouse, kids and their kids to enjoy and love for a much longer time than ever dreamed.

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do," is a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt. This is my new mantra, and I'm sticking by it! I think I'll make a strawberry/low fat smoothie for lunch. Care to join me?

Spring Break - Partaaaaaay!

Today was the last day of school for us. We have ten days of NOT having to schedule my morning shower around everyone else; ten days of crawling back into bed after the bacon-bringer-home leaves for work; ten days of off-and-on computer play; and ten days of keeping the food on track.

Oh heck, I can do that! I spent seven hours today passing by boxes of donuts, cookies and cupcakes. Since I knew that if I had one, I would then have to have all of them. It is so much easier to not eat forbidden foods, than to try to monitor or make portions. I'm not very good with numbers; words are more my style. I have a tough time counting calories, points, grams, etc. What has been working for me is to decrease portion size. Instead of one pound of M&Ms, I limit myself to 1/2 pound. Arent' I the clever one?

I suppose I will now have to walk Tootsie a few more times each day in order to make up for the walking I usually do at work. She is going to be very confused as to why there are so many people home during her "special" alone time! I think she will forgive us as long as we include her in our conversations. She still does the 3:45am thing where we go out to check the "boat house." Sometimes, she just likes to sniff around to see which friends have been by lately.

My "random act of kindess" deeds are coming along fine. Sometimes, just a little "hello" to someone will brighten their day. It takes a lot less effort to smile than to frown, and since I'm a lazy person, it works very well for me. I'm always waving to cars passing by the house. My kids are humiliated because most of the time I don't know who is driving the car. I just wave in case it's someone who knows me...if I don't, I will have to apologize later for being a snob.

My plans for spring break include cleaning out cupboards and closets, and getting rid of all the Girl Scout art projects, swaps (I have two million safety pins if someone needs them for swaps!) and a ton of papers. Anyone in scouts knows that there are a lot of forms, letters and yellow "Troop" copies of every cookie sale and registration, and don't forget all of the leftover "April Showers" bags! I have ten years worth of stuff. I think it's time to say goodbye to a few things. I will be strong!

Or, I just might bail on the house stuff and go to the movies with the girls!

In a Barbie World

So, just like Jay Leno gets his material from current events, I thought I might try a post in a similar way. Here goes!

Barbie is turning 50! Big deal! Yes, she is pretty, has awesome clothes, a really cool house and fast cars, but will her heels ever touch the ground? Will we ever see her without makeup? How will we ever know what she is feeling deep down inside?

I can tell you how I feel inside. And, I think I can speak for more than one of my three readers! We played with our Barbies, dressed them, took them shopping, and dreamed about how we would be beautiful like them when we were older. We were young and stupid! It wasn't until I was a teenager, and my body and face were not taking on the "Barbie" look, that I realized I had been duped! I didn't look anything like her and I never would! Boy, was I mad!

Most of us know that if a human woman was equipped with the same proportions as Barbie, she would fall over from the weight of her breasts. Well, some women today have managed to perfect "the look" with expensive enhancements, but it was a stupid dream...of both the designer, as well as millions of young girls, to think that they would ever look like her. Maybe that's why they came up with all of the different career Barbie dolls and clothes. "See, Barbie can be anything she wants...from an airline stew to a college grad to an astronaut or a doctor!" The "Career Barbie" tried to make us forget about looking like a fashion model and striving to become a professional. It worked for some.

Barbie was and always will be a toy. She wasn't meant to be a role model, but she somehow was moved into that position. Let's celebrate her longevity, as well as her evolution. Too bad she will never know what it's like to have cellulite or stretch marks!

Yep, Just Another Excuse!

Writer's block has set in; the drama queens are fluffing their tutus more than before; Retro has started to make some life-altering changes; Rock's art teacher is cracking the whip...daily; Hero changed his status from "in a relationship" to "single":( and Tootsie's morning business is already on Daylight Savings...she's gotta go at 3:45am instead of 4:45am!!!!

Pick an excuse...any excuse...it's been a real treat trying to keep up on my posts! How do other busy people do it? I guess it doesn't really matter. They seem to get it done. Okay...focus...concentrate...stop reading other people's blogs first. Stop stalking people on facebook. And, for heaven's sake, delete all the "FW:SEEN ON OPRAH, LOSE 50 POUNDS IN THREE DAYS!" from the email account!

I gained two pounds last week, and of course, feel like crud! There are black and blue marks all over my precious money-making, typist-freak hands from punching the laundry basket while folding clothes! It makes me think of the Paula Abdul song, "Two Steps Forward and One Step Back."

Today is a brand new day! I don't report to the Health Getsapo for another week! Let's get back on the horse I came in on and start rousting those doggies up and put them in the corral! (It's supposed to be a metaphor, but I'm not sure I got it right!)

Anyway, onward! Life is awesome - make someone smile today!