Monday, March 16, 2009

Get Back on That Wagon!!

Yes, it is true. I fell off the wagon a few weeks ago. Fortunately for me, I only sustained a few bruises. It could have been worse. My wagon could have been sailing down Lombard Street in San Francisco, but I was lucky and it was only travelling on one of the (10 billion) flat highways of Texas!

How did I lose my balance and fall? What evil spirit entered my brain and told me that one chocolate chip cookie wouldn't hurt? As I fought this evil spirit, the Girl Scout cookies arrived. Aaarrrggghhh! I gave in to the monster! It took hold of my mind and body and had it's evil way with me!

Well, it is back to the structured meal plan I was on (for a week or so) last summer. Since I only work when school is in session, and I don't make up for the 1.5 miles I walk each day on my deliveries (messages to Johnny to come pick up your bleepin lunch or the math book you left on the kitchen table), I gained 10 pounds during the first two weeks of summer. The food plan I began, which was basically designed for dead people, included cutting my current intake in half, denying my body and mind of all foods containing refined sugar, saturated fats and fun, and, caused me to lose 10 pounds in about 10 days.

Once I had drained my body of all chemically-made endorphins, I began to see life in a more colorful light. The thought of staying on this food plan for more than a month scared the heck out of me! I mean, here I was, losing weight, feeling a little more energy and actually thinking about success. Then, FEAR reared its ugly head! How can it be possible for success and fear to be in the same sentence? It's the story of my life! What if I actually became a normal size? Oh my goodness! Someone might notice! I won't be able to hide behind my fat any longer! Sound familiar?

Pretty sick thinking, no? You'd be amazed to know how many of us are out there! You'd also be amazed to know how many former chubbies who are now "normal sized" people still think like this. It's a condition that many will fight for the rest of their lives. Well, I say, "Lean to the left, lean to the right, stand up, sit down, fight, fight, fight!"

I'm willing to fight the demons for the rest of my life, because if I don't, I won't have a life. It's not just the clothes, the compliments and the invitations to social events. It's breathing (unassisted); it's the ability of movement without a scooter or wheelchair; it's not having to take a dozen medications just to get the eyes opened each morning; it's having friends, a spouse, kids and their kids to enjoy and love for a much longer time than ever dreamed.

"You must do the thing you think you cannot do," is a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt. This is my new mantra, and I'm sticking by it! I think I'll make a strawberry/low fat smoothie for lunch. Care to join me?

1 comment:

Lora said...

thank you so much for your words over on my blog. I don't have your email so I am responding here. You have no idea how much hearing that made me feel so incredibly lucky and loved this morning.
thank you, thank you, thank you!!