"She lifted the stack of letters from the ancient chest..." and as she did, a photo fell from the stack. The corners were torn but the photo itself was in very good condition. It was a picture of a young woman dressed in turn of the century clothing sitting in a high-back chair. Suddenly, the hairs on the back of her neck stood straight up!
“She looks just like mom!” she thought. She slowly turned over the picture and read the words “Jane – 1896.” It couldn't be her mom; she wasn’t born yet. The resemblance was eerie. She set the picture on the desk and opened the letter on top…
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19 comments:
A well told story. My mind filled in the blanks by a story that really happened. Sometimes so amazaing.
Cool - picking up on a past live of some sort. The only problem I had with your beginning - and this is not anything big but can be fixed in a jiffy is that you shifted POV - you went from third person - she - to first person - I - The second paragraph can be easily fixed back to She throughout and I think it makes the story a bit more intriguing as you now have three "she" persons to wonder about - Jane, mom and the narrator. My guess is if you expand this out that Jane in the past will be your narrator in the present. Good job though - and hopefully you will explore this more. - E :)
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Elysabeth Eldering
Author of the Junior Geography Detective Squad, 50-state, mystery, trivia series
Where will the adventure take you next?
http://jgdsseries.blogspot.com
http;//jgdsseries.weebly.com
Forgot to click the follow button - sorry - E :)
------------
Elysabeth Eldering
Author of the Junior Geography Detective Squad, 50-state, mystery, trivia series
Where will the adventure take you next?
http://jgdsseries.blogspot.com
http://jgdsseries.weebly.com
Well, now I just want to know more.
great job. I loved it.
WEll, youve done it now! You've gotten us so curious that you have to keep writing!!
I love the use of the photo in the stack of letters. I like the way you used the prompt, I'd love to know more of this story! Kat
Very intriguing. You ignite all sorts of thoughts on where this could go. Great work.
xoRobyn
oh, this is so intriguing ... it leaves me wanting more!
Absolutely..you have given us so many sparks to light up the story in our heads..like the little fairy gathering up the drop of light..Jae
Good idea to bring a photo into the mix. I got stuck on the letters...
=)
As your other readers said, "What happens?" Was it her grandma?
What oh what possibly could be in those letters! Great stuff that screams to answered! btw-what a charming header photo....very nice!
Loved the ending on this. Good one! :)
This sounds like a great beginning. Maybe sometime you can continue it. Good job.
I'm caught up in the suspense of this well written piece. Your concrete images make it easy to form a picture of the whole scene.
Thanks for a good one..........cj
I'm intrigued! Good job!
Love the perfect amount of suspense you captured here in this wonderful little gem of a story.
I liked this soooo much!
Another beautifully written 'cliff-hanger'! Please let us know what happens!
Best wishes,
Anna
P.S.
I'm sorry that I am commenting so late. I am going back to older posts that I have missed.
Here is my SC-text:
'Infrequent visitor' SC week 39
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