Sunday, January 30, 2011

Saturday Centus - Eeriness

Jenny Matlock - off on my tangent has enlisted the help of ever-prolific artist, Judie, of Rogue Artist, who has challenged us with this week's Centus prompt. (Nice job, Judie!) The prompt is below in bold. My story follows.

"She lifted the stack of letters from the ancient chest..." and as she did, a photo fell from the stack. The corners were torn but the photo itself was in very good condition. It was a picture of a young woman dressed in turn of the century clothing sitting in a high-back chair. Suddenly, the hairs on the back of her neck stood straight up!

“She looks just like mom!” she thought. She slowly turned over the picture and read the words “Jane – 1896.” It couldn't be her mom; she wasn’t born yet. The resemblance was eerie. She set the picture on the desk and opened the letter on top…


Thanks for stopping by. Please hop over to Jenny's Saturday Centus by clicking on the logo below and your brain cells will be stimulated by some very talented writers. Have a wonderful week!

Jenny Matlock

19 comments:

annell said...

A well told story. My mind filled in the blanks by a story that really happened. Sometimes so amazaing.

elysabeth said...

Cool - picking up on a past live of some sort. The only problem I had with your beginning - and this is not anything big but can be fixed in a jiffy is that you shifted POV - you went from third person - she - to first person - I - The second paragraph can be easily fixed back to She throughout and I think it makes the story a bit more intriguing as you now have three "she" persons to wonder about - Jane, mom and the narrator. My guess is if you expand this out that Jane in the past will be your narrator in the present. Good job though - and hopefully you will explore this more. - E :)

------------
Elysabeth Eldering
Author of the Junior Geography Detective Squad, 50-state, mystery, trivia series

Where will the adventure take you next?

http://jgdsseries.blogspot.com
http;//jgdsseries.weebly.com

elysabeth said...

Forgot to click the follow button - sorry - E :)

------------
Elysabeth Eldering
Author of the Junior Geography Detective Squad, 50-state, mystery, trivia series

Where will the adventure take you next?

http://jgdsseries.blogspot.com
http://jgdsseries.weebly.com

Jeanie said...

Well, now I just want to know more.

Dazee Dreamer said...

great job. I loved it.

Judie said...

WEll, youve done it now! You've gotten us so curious that you have to keep writing!!

Kat said...

I love the use of the photo in the stack of letters. I like the way you used the prompt, I'd love to know more of this story! Kat

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

Very intriguing. You ignite all sorts of thoughts on where this could go. Great work.
xoRobyn

Jo said...

oh, this is so intriguing ... it leaves me wanting more!

jaerose said...

Absolutely..you have given us so many sparks to light up the story in our heads..like the little fairy gathering up the drop of light..Jae

Sue said...

Good idea to bring a photo into the mix. I got stuck on the letters...

=)

GutsyWriter said...

As your other readers said, "What happens?" Was it her grandma?

Karen S. said...

What oh what possibly could be in those letters! Great stuff that screams to answered! btw-what a charming header photo....very nice!

faith said...

Loved the ending on this. Good one! :)

Viki said...

This sounds like a great beginning. Maybe sometime you can continue it. Good job.

cj Schlottman said...

I'm caught up in the suspense of this well written piece. Your concrete images make it easy to form a picture of the whole scene.

Thanks for a good one..........cj

gaelikaa said...

I'm intrigued! Good job!

Jenny said...

Love the perfect amount of suspense you captured here in this wonderful little gem of a story.

I liked this soooo much!

Anna said...

Another beautifully written 'cliff-hanger'! Please let us know what happens!
Best wishes,
Anna
P.S.
I'm sorry that I am commenting so late. I am going back to older posts that I have missed.
Here is my SC-text:
'Infrequent visitor' SC week 39